Well, yesterday was the longest day I've had in awhile. I spent the morning with the principal, the afternoon on the phone with parents of the girls that are harassing my daughter.

I've been doubting myself since yesterday. Did I do the right thing? My main concern was making it worse on her. I explained that there are no guarantees that we can get them to completely stop, that things could get worse. But I felt it was time to act and she agreed.

The principal did as much as I could really expect him to. I felt that he listened to us, he was honest and he worked with Miss Moody on trying to make her day as comfortable as possible.

But she did not want to stay. She cried and cried. But I knew she had to stay, that she had to face everyone, that we couldn't postpone it all.

And boy was she angry with me when she got home.

Apparently the principal told all the kids he talked to that the police had been contacted. I could see him telling Used To Be Best Friend that but not these other kids. Maybe he used it as a scare tactic? Maybe he misunderstood who we did talk with the police about. I don't know.

The school is a small one, we live in a small area where you know everyone and they know you. Which translates to everyone knowing everyone else's business. So, things can spread like wildfire and because we are a quiet, rural area with little crime, having police brought into a situation is a big deal. Perfect gossip. Especially for a bunch of preteens and teenagers.

Miss Moody just wanted to move on but everyone was bugging her, wanting to know what was going on, what had happened. Who called the cops? Why? Who's getting arrested? I know it was endless.

And I know today isn't going to be much better. By next week the kids will have moved on to something else.

I do think it may get worse before it gets better. These girls are angry that I busted them. They are angry that I have proof, taken from their very own myspace pages. They are angry that I have made their parents aware of their behavior. So, if they didn't like Miss Moody before, they surely do now.

Therein lies my problem. Did I do the right thing? Should I have remained silent?

I don't know what we are going to do about indoor field hockey. If she goes, she'll have to face every single one of them. Not that I think anything will happen but I'm not completely confident of that. It's more about how awkward and weird it would all be, how I know the parents will want to discuss it and you know, I'm done now. There is nothing left to say. I'm going to leave field hockey up to Miss Moody. Mainly because I don't want to force her anymore then I've had to so far. But then we've had to change so much in order to try and stay away from the trouble. It's like we've had to change almost everything while these girls keep on as normal. Which is their whole point, wouldn't you say? Isn't that what bullies want? I've contacted the coach but haven't heard from her so far and I may not. She might not want to get involved.

I've been trying to be understanding and respectful of her feelings, trying to remember what it was like being her age. But last night when she was angry and really coming at me, I lost it. I'd had enough. Because this hasn't only affected her, it's affected our entire family. I have spent so much time over the last 3 months, keeping her straight, monitoring everything that I'm tired and worn out. I don't have much left for her brother and sister and that's not fair to them. Like last night, I don't think I had real conversations with either of them and before I knew it, it was time for bed. And I know this has been very hard on her and I know when you are a teenager, you can't see past yourself, it's all about you. And really, it has been all about her lately.

And I was so frustrated because I felt like she was being so ungrateful. When I was growing up and being bullied, I had to deal with it on my own. I didn't have anyone that was willing to go to the principal for me or even to the police. And I was bullied but I learned to take care of myself.

But she doesn't know how that is because I've always been there for her and she knows that I'll take up for her.

And she doesn't realize how awkward and uncomfortable this is for me and her father. I mean, we're telling people how bad their kids are behaving and let's face it, no one likes to hear that about their kids. Some parents even get offended, won't believe you and it can get ugly. Thankfully that hasn't happened so far here but it's still awkward. I don't like confrontation, who really does?

So, I called her down on a few things. Our emotions were just all over the place and we both needed to just chill out. And after my little melt down, everything calmed down and the rest of the night wasn't too bad.

I'm dreading her coming home though, just because if she had a bad day, I'll feel responsible and then I'll feel guilty.

I hate doubting myself.