After a lot of consideration, I think I'm going to close down this blog.

I'd love to keep in touch with all the friends I have made here.

I just haven't liked the direction my blog has been taking. I will probably be starting to a new blog, one that will truly reflect who I am, one where I share my journey in life freely. But for right now, I'm just going to take a break.

Please email me at notenoughofmeATgmail.com so we can keep in touch.

I will be lurking at my favorite blogs, don't think I'm leaving you completely.

Yesterday the kids and I had a snow day. Again. It was more a snow/ice event. I spent the entire day doing absolutely nothing. I'm almost ashamed to admit how lazy I was. Almost.

We didn't do anything special for Valentine's Day. I'm one of those women who could care less, it's just another day. I don't expect flowers or candy, just take me to dinner or bring it home so I don't have to cook.

We went to Pizza Hut which was only fitting since that's where we ate all the time while we were dating.

Today school was back in and I had to work. Miss Moody is home sick with another sinus infection. She's back on Flonase and a z-pack.

Tonight Girly Girl has dance class. Part of me would love to skip it (I'm still in my want to be alone funk) but I'm not going to. Simply because lacrosse is about to start up and I know she will miss some dance classes because of it. And her big recital is the end of April and they are starting to work on their routines so she needs to be there as often as possible.

Tomorrow I have to get together with my co-cookie mom so we can get our first deposits straight. Miss Moody has her Valentine's dance at school, it's more like a winter formal type of thing. I think she will have a great time, I'm sending her with some disposable cameras so she can take lots of pictures and do a scrapbook. That's what she did last year and this year is even more important since this is her last year at this school.

I'm also in desperate need of getting my nails done. It's been almost a month. The girl that normally does my nails is out on maternity leave and my schedule got all off and with all the craziness of the past month, I resorted to going to one of those Asian nail salons at the mall. I was a bit leary but they seemed ok and I was pleased with the results. I just hate not being able to understand what they are saying. So I just smile and nod my head in agreement. Kinda scary isn't it? I could be agreeing to a brazilian wax or something and not even know it.

I think we are going out to dinner Saturday night with friends of ours. I figured with being in such a funk that I needed to do something social on purpose. We'll have a good time, it's just getting there.

I've been watching a lot of tv, that's what I usually do when I'm in a funk. So I've been watching a lot of coverage on Anna Nicole Smith. I feel so badly for her. I think she was just an emotionally fragile person that resorted to drugs, men, people to make her feel good, to validate her. I think she was used by a lot of people in her life. She just seemed so desperate for acceptance, she was willing to do anything for it. So many sit back and judge her, call her a freak, a loser. I just can't help thinking that there's a little Anna Nicole in me too, I was just able to change the course of my life.

Well, I'd better run, Sonny Boy and Girly Girl will be home any minute. I'm sure their folders will be full of homework since we missed yesterday.

Oh joy.

It's snowing, schools were late starting, why I don't know because the snow didn't start until it was time for the kids to get to school. Now the roads are getting slick so I'm sure they will send them home early. Most of the main roads are ok, the back roads aren't but that's how it always is. They haven't really been able to predict what was going to happen as far as the weather. I was under the impression that my part of Maryland would have rain. Just goes to show, there is no way to really predict what will happen as far as the weather.

Miss Moody is not feeling so good, I have a feeling we will be to the doctor this week. If school gets cancelled tomorrow, I will take her then. Otherwise, I am supposed to be going on a field trip with Sonny Boy.

I have to admit I really don't want to go on the field trip. I am in one of my funks where I don't want to be sociable. When I get like this I just want to keep to myself, carrying on conversations is hard, trying to appear "ok" is hard. So I just want to keep to myself until I work through it.

It's my own fault, I have not been taking my medication like I should. Lots of days I just forget. Or I'll remember but I'll be at work where I don't have of my medication. So now I'm starting to carry some in my purse just in case.

I will go on the field trip though. My son is so excited that I am going and I know pretty soon he won't think it's cool to have his mom go with him on field trips so I'd better take advantage of it.

My husband and I are considering taking a trip to the Poconos. If you get a chance, check out the link and get a load of the rooms they have. You can get a room with your own personal heated pool. Our plumber goes with his wife every year and he said you can stay the whole time and never even leave your room. Some rooms have beds with mirrored head boards, for some reason that makes me laugh. Some rooms have mirrored walls around the hot tube which also makes me laugh. I mean, I'm just not that into looking at myself that much. Especially, well, when certain things are going on.

Ok, I'll shut up now.

But I do think JR and I need to go somewhere. With all the stress of the last few months with Miss Moody and with work, our marriage isn't where it should be. Not that we fight because we don't fight. We're just testy and irritable. And that only makes me want to keep to myself more. I think once you've been with someone a long time, you need to find a way to reconnect and it's been so long since we've done anything fun, just him and I.

Well, all the schools around us are closing early so I'm sure they'll be calling ours anytime. I'd better get some work done so I can leave when I need to.

I know, I'm here on a Sunday but I'm taking a break from housework so I thought I'd get online and read some blogs.

I didn't go to church this morning. I slept too late to make it to the early service and then I just decided to stay home. I wanted to cook a big breakfast and get the house cleaned and the laundry done.

So here I am.

Yesterday was Girly Girl's Brownie troops cookie booth sale. We sold over 100 boxes of cookies in two hours but man was it cold. It wouldn't have been so bad if it hadn't been so windy. I swear I didn't feel my face until late last night.

Then I took both my girls shopping. Miss Moody needed a dress for the Valentine's Day dance on the 16th at school. Finding a dress was a bit of a challenge. Everything was so hoochie. I ended up buying her a strapless dress which looks great on her and very appropriate because there is no plunging neckline. The dress reaches her knees too and isn't skin tight.

We ended the day by going out for a nice dinner. It was a good day, I needed to do something fun, especially with Miss Moody. We talked a lot at dinner and it was good to hear her being positive. She said she feel that things are better now because she's just avoiding the "drama mamas" instead of trying to reason with them. She says her focus in class is better too.

I think it helped that she had her oldest, dearest friend come over on Friday and they had a good time just being together. They don't spend as much time together as they used to and both her parents and I agree that we need to change that.

Today I'm going to finish up on housework and hopefully get all my laundry done. I would like to start my cross stitch project too. And I want to cook a good dinner, not something that I just throw together haphazardly.

They are calling for a possible snow storm this week, the weather service isn't sure of the track of the storm yet so it's too soon to tell how much we could get. I say bring it on. We haven't had a real good storm in years. I love how the world just stops then and gets so quiet and peacful. So, one good storm would be good then it can start to warm up, lol.

Ok, I know I promised pictures but wouldn't you know that my camera's battery died and by the time it had charged, the snow was practically gone. It was the most powdery snow I've ever seen and even though it never got out of the 20's, the sunlight just melted it away.

It was so nice to just be home yesterday. I got some cleaning done, did some laundry and just enjoyed not having to be anywhere. It seems like anymore that it's hard for me to enjoy being home. I guess because I have so much to do when I am home that I never can relax. I know that I'm not the only one that feels that way though.

I think what was even better was that I wasn't expecting a day home. I knew there was a chance of snow but it wasn't supposed to be much of anything. And honestly, it wasn't that much snow but I think between what little we did get and the extreme cold, they just cancelled school.

I was doing laundry and decided to wash one of my spring jackets, it had been in the back of my van for months. I cleaned out the pockets and found $5, that made the day even better. I know it's only $5 but hey, that's $5 I didn't have before!

Tonight Girly Girl has dance, she missed the last 2 weeks. On my way home, I will be picking up more Girl Scout cookies for our cookie booth sale on Saturday. I'm already sick of Girl Scout cookies. I think I overdosed on do-si-dos yesterday. Ugh.

Miss Moody is doing a very good job at keeping herself out of potential drama, I think she's finally learning to look at the big picture which makes it easier for her to decide to do the right thing. Aimee, a girl that was involved in stirring up the drama from 2 weeks ago, has been trying her hardest to get in contact with Miss Moody. She's tried being nice, she's tried making comments that would make Miss Moody angry. She wants a reaction out of Miss Moody and Miss Moody keeps right on with her life and doesn't give her one. Even though I know Miss Moody would like to come back at the snarky remarks, she knows that is what Aimee wants and she's not going to give Aimee or the rest of those girls any more of her time and attention.

It's just so irritating the things these girls take issue with. For instance, Aimee keeps telling Miss Moody that she "stole Taylor's sweatshirt so she needs to quit wearing it." Now Aimee isn't saying that Miss Moody actually stole it, it's just that Miss Moody has one just like Taylor's. It's a sweatshirt that has the high school's lacrosse team name on it and it was JR's from when he was in high school. And there are how many others that have the same sweatshirt? Jeez....

I keep reminding myself these girls are only 13 years old.

That's ok though, because Miss Moody wore the sweatshirt to school today, just to make a point.

Well, I'm off to eat my breakfast, read some blogs and then I have to get our bills completely done and in the mail. At least my FIL is happy, the bills will be getting paid while he's on vacation.

It's A Snow Day!!!!

No work, no school, woo hoo!

Pictures to come later!

You know you're a mom when.....

you have a kid with a bad stomach ache who wants to eat so you base what you allow them to eat on what you won't mind cleaning off the bathroom floor later.

I had to go get Girly Girl from school, her stomach ache is back.

Again.

Ugh.

Right now my head feels like it's being beat like a drum, I have this pounding like pain in my temple. Not a good way to start the day.

It is cold here, bitter cold. There is a possibility of snow tonight, only about an inch though.

I know I have mentioned that I live in a rural area. We don't have a lot of crime. My kids schools are both in the same town, just down the street from each other. In this town we have a small bank, a gas station, 2 churches and 2 small restaraunts. I'd say the population is about 300-400 in town, counting the outskirts it's probably 500-600 or so.

Yesterday, the bank was robbed. Miss Moody's school is across the street from the bank. They had cops all through her school building, both schools were under lock down all day. Police were all over town, there were helicopters and they never caught the guy. Whoever did this, knew they would have a good chance of getting away with it. We're not used to dealing with crime of that nature and we don't have a local police department, we're too small, we have to rely on the county and state police.

I went and picked up all the Girl Scout cookies yesterday so right now my van is packed full. Tonight is our troop meeting so I'll be getting rid of some of the cases at least. We're supposed to be having a cookie booth sale this Saturday here at my work, weather permitting.

Tonight is also lacrosse sign ups and Sonny Boy has a soccer game. I have no idea how I will manage the troop meeting which I can't miss and getting to sign ups since JR will have to take Sonny Boy to his game. I'll figure it all out somehow.

Well, I have a ton of work to do so I'd better get to it. My FIL is getting more anxious by the day so I want these bills done.

I think one of the things that I'm trying to wrap my mind around is how that all of God's promises are for me too. I've never really thought that was true. Maybe because I don't feel that I'm good enough, that I mess up and do things wrong too much or because my home isn't the Christian home that most of my friends have.

I don't know why I feel that everything has to be perfect in order for God to accept me and love me.

I'm also starting to realize how satan is very real and out to harm me. I guess I've always had a hard time with believing that, I don't know, maybe because it's kind of creepy? (you know you think it's creepy too, lol) But I've noticed that the times when I need to attend church the most, I won't want to go, I'll get all down and have a hundred excuses. I was like that this weekend, with both the ladies fellowship and church. Then I realized that's just what satan wants, he wants me to stay home and be miserable. He certainly doesn't want me to go and get lifted up in the Lord by some great Christian ladies. And he really doesn't want me to go to church. So, now I know when I'm really not wanting to go to church, that's when I need to go no matter what.

I've also realized that satan uses every insecurity I have against me and that's why I need to get grounded in the word of God so that when he does that, I'll know what God says about me.

I just have this feeling of being on the brink of something. Like I'm about to have a break through, it's hard to explain. Maybe it's simply that I'm letting God back in again and my mind is starting to clear.

Whatever it is, it's got to be good.

Of course, I'm also seeing some areas in my life that I need to really work on, things I need to change. One really big are is my marriage. Even though things aren't terrible, they aren't where they should be. Honestly, working on that will be hard because I know there will be things God will want me to do that I won't like. For instance, keeping my mouth shut when all I really want to do is tell JR a thing or two. I need to be more supportive of him, I doubt him too much, even though I don't verbalize it, he knows it.

I just wanted to share some of the things swirling around my brain right now. What was your latest revelation?

I cannot get on the internet with the lap top, it keeps saying the wireless has been disabled, a network cable is unplugged. Nothing is unplugged!!! So, being the computer idiot that I am, I can't fix it which makes me so angry and I was just getting spoiled.

At least I can still get on the desk top, it's just not as comfy.

I went to the ladies fellowship yesterday and I am so glad that I did. It was wonderful. I also went to church today and between the two I've got a lot on my mind. When I've got it more sorted out, I will share it all here. I feel like I'm on the brink of getting something, you know? Like I'm about to have this big light bulb moment.

I have a super busy week ahead which makes me feel all stressed and weird. I've got a little bit of a sore throat, I'm sure it's just my body reacting to all the stress of late. And stressing about the upcoming week is not helping. I need to get a grip, figure out what needs to be done and ask for God to help me complete it all.

I did not make Miss Moody go to field hockey, I'm going to leave it up to her. There is no other indoor team so this is all she has. Lacrosse sign ups are this week so in March our lives will be full of practices again.

Well, I'm off to watch the Superbowl. JR and Sonny Boy are in the living room now laughing their heads off at the commercials.

Yesterday I was thinking Girly Girl's stomach ache was just that, a stomach ache. The ache never worsened and she was able to eat. I made her favorite dinner, spaghetti, which she ate plenty of. We did skip dance class because I had kept her home from school and she was tired from being up alot the night before. She went to bed no problem. Around 11pm she woke me up (I had just fallen asleep) complaining of her stomach hurting really bad. So I had her stay in my room, she calmed down and went to sleep until around 1:30am or so. She was in terrible pain by this point, I was getting very concerned because I could tell she was hurting. I didn't know if it could be her appendix, could she have some kind of blockage, was she constipated. Just as I was about to get dressed and take her to the ER, she ran toward my bathroom and threw up everywhere.

Talk about a mess. She was trying to reach the toilet but didn't. And I swear, when I stood there, trying to figure out where to begin cleaning it up, my spaghetti dinner was at the base of my throat.

I am throwing out the leftover spaghetti today. There is no way I can eat it.

It is so not fun cleaning up vomit at 2am.

She felt better immediately though and was back to sleep by 3am. I, however, was up forever.

I've kept her home again today. She has eaten jello and feels fine. She says her stomach still hurts but not as bad. So today she will be on a light diet, nothing heavy. And no spaghetti.

The best part about today is JR left his laptop home so I'm curled up on the couch while writing this. I plan on doing some laundry, cleaning up a little and visiting some blogs. I need to go to the grocery store but that may not get done today.

Misty, my cat, is doing so much better. She has perked up and gained some weight. Every time she sees me she gets up and comes over to me, wanting attention. She had stopped doing that, I don't think she had the strength to. She is still having a problem holding her urine but hopefully once her urinary tract infection clears up and her body adjusts to her new diet, that will improve. Excessive urination is a sign of feline diabetes so between that and her infection, she hasn't been able to hold it. She's already had one bath at the vets and I'm giving her a couple more days before I give her one here. That should be fun.

I would like to get to the craft store, I have a cross stitch project I'd like to begin but I need some more floss. I thought that would be something I could do when I'm wanting to munch, something to keep my hands busy. It's supposed to get very cold here starting Sunday, the coldest weather we've had in 3 years which means I'll be stuck inside a lot. I need something to do so I'm not raiding the cabinets.

I am so behind on my bible reading for my bible study. I just have not been able to stay focused on anything I read. I would love to work on getting caught up this weekend, I just need to pray for God to help me.

I cannot get Miss Moody to go back to indoor field hockey because of those girls. As much as I hate to see her walk away, she is very good, I understand where she's coming from. At school she only has to deal with one girl, if she goes to field hockey it's all 3 together. I don't know. I don't like my kids to quit anything, I'm all about seeing things through but how much am I supposed to push here? This isn't just a case of kids not liking you, it's been more than that. But sometimes I worry that she lets other people stop her too much and I'd hate to see her miss out on things because of other people. And on the other hand, I don't want to put extra pressure on her. I don't know.

What would you do? Would you make her go or just respect her feelings and let her quit?

Girly Girl is here at work with me today. She's been up off and on all night with a stomach ache. It's nothing major but I knew if I sent her to school, they would just be calling me to come get her. She loves coming to work with me, she used to everyday when she was little. Right now she's curled up on her cot, watching Little Mermaid.

My cat Misty is doing ok. She is now on a diabetic diet and has to eat canned food because it is easier for her to eat. She is loving it. She is hungry all the time so I'm feeding her 3 times a day now. Basically I'm just trying to keep her comfortable and loved until it's time. Poor old girl.

My father-in-law is starting to get all stressed here, worrying me about the bills. They are about to leave for Mexico in 9 days and he always gets stressed before he leaves. So I'm going to get as much done today as I can so he'll at least be off my back. I can tell you though, if I was about to leave for Mexico, I would not be stressed.

Saturday I have been invited to a ladies fellowship brunch with some ladies from church. I used to go to them all the time but the lady who held them had to stop for awhile and then I drifted away so it's been a long time since I've been. I'm finding myself nervous about going, why am I like that? I have such a hard time stepping out and doing new or different things but once I do, I'm usually glad that I did. I'm going to go though.

Do you step out easily or is it hard for you like it is for me?