Glad to see Blogger is working today, I was unable to get to my blog yesterday.
As you can see we are back safe and sound from our vacation. I absolutely loved the Outer Banks and plan on going back next year. We stayed in Duck, NC which is one of the northern towns. Our house was ocean side so the walk to the beach was minimal. We also had our own pool and hot tub which we all enjoyed daily. The weather was awesome even though we were under a tropical storm watch for a couple of days. Not a drop of rain though just bad rip tides. We didn't even go to the beach on Wednesday because of it and on Thursday a lady broke her leg trying to get out of the water. The waves were terrible and it was hard to get back on shore. I liked being in Duck because it was quiet but still close to some shops. The farther south you go the less there is but it was all beautiful. The water there is an awesome blue green. The ocean up here is murkier and dirtier, down there it's so clean, like it should be! We took a day trip all the way to Hatteras. JR and son climbed the lighthouse there and then we went farther down to take the ferry to Ocracoke Island. There really isn't anything to do on Ocracoke but it was still neat to go there. We ate dinner at Howard's Pub and then caught the ferry back.
All in all it was a good vacation.
JR had more blood tests and he does not have diabetes though he is being cautioned to watch his sugar intake from here on out.
All the kids are in camp this week. Oldest and son are at lacrosse camp and youngest is at Girl Scouts camp. Everyone is doing fine except the oldest. I'm sitting here with my stomach in knots over her. I just don't know how to help her. She's at this camp with several girls that she knows, that were on her team this year. Now these girls aren't who she wouldn't hang around outside of lacrosse but they are girls she's known for years. A couple of them can be catty. When I picked her up yesterday she said several times camp was fun. Later on she said that a couple of girls were making comments but nothing too bad. This morning she was fine until we got there. Most of the girls came together in one car just because most of the mothers work so they have someone else bring them. My daughter started to cry a little, it caught me off guard because I thought she was ok. I took her back to the van and she told me that all the girls had left her out yesterday, etc, etc. She had never said that one time to me last night or this morning.
Now I know girls are clickish, I know girls will leave other girls out. Been there, done that. But I also know that my daughter is super sensitive and takes things personally, things that aren't even meant to be taken that way. Sometimes she honestly thinks that people are scheming to do things to upset her. She is paranoid. I know at her age fitting in with a group is very important but sometimes you have to step out to fit in. You can't expect people to consider your feelings, if they are in a circle passing the ball, step in the circle and pass too. She thinks they should ask her and if they don't ask, then they don't like her when really it's probably that they just didn't think to ask. Sometimes I wonder if the other girls consider her standoffish or too high maintenance. I mean, it is hard being around someone that is too sensitive.
Of course then I wonder if it's something that I've done or haven't done as her mother for her to be so insecure. And I'm frustrated because I don't know how to help her and I'm tired too, it's mentally draining to have to talk her off the edge like I do. How do I make her see that not everyone is out to get her?
Another problem is I don't know how much of this is truth or her just being paranoid. I do know how mean girls can be, I remember it so I can't totally discount what she's saying. But then I also know how she can be too. I think she brings alot of this on herself by not including herself, by not stepping out and being friendly. If she's standing off, looking sour and hateful no one will approach her. I encourage her all the time to just be friendly, that people are drawn to that. If she does step out and try to speak to someone and she doesn't get the reaction she expects, she immediately thinks the person doesn't like her.
I worry about her future so much. I worry that she'll be alone if she keeps on. I don't know what to do or how to help her. I fear that she will find the acceptance she craves with boys just like I did. I'm seeing some of that now, I've had to take her cell phone away because of it.
We are all born with different personalities and such. Some people are loners, others love being around lots of people. Some are more serious, others happy go lucky. You are who you are. I don't want to change her, I just want to help her. How do I help her like herself, to have good self esteem? How do I help her if I've never had good self esteem? How do you help someone if you've never been able to help yourself?
Have I pushed my insecurities on her in some way? Is that why she's like this? It makes me ill to think that may be the case.
I hate not knowing what to do. I feel helpless because I fear that this is something I can't change.
As you can see we are back safe and sound from our vacation. I absolutely loved the Outer Banks and plan on going back next year. We stayed in Duck, NC which is one of the northern towns. Our house was ocean side so the walk to the beach was minimal. We also had our own pool and hot tub which we all enjoyed daily. The weather was awesome even though we were under a tropical storm watch for a couple of days. Not a drop of rain though just bad rip tides. We didn't even go to the beach on Wednesday because of it and on Thursday a lady broke her leg trying to get out of the water. The waves were terrible and it was hard to get back on shore. I liked being in Duck because it was quiet but still close to some shops. The farther south you go the less there is but it was all beautiful. The water there is an awesome blue green. The ocean up here is murkier and dirtier, down there it's so clean, like it should be! We took a day trip all the way to Hatteras. JR and son climbed the lighthouse there and then we went farther down to take the ferry to Ocracoke Island. There really isn't anything to do on Ocracoke but it was still neat to go there. We ate dinner at Howard's Pub and then caught the ferry back.
All in all it was a good vacation.
JR had more blood tests and he does not have diabetes though he is being cautioned to watch his sugar intake from here on out.
All the kids are in camp this week. Oldest and son are at lacrosse camp and youngest is at Girl Scouts camp. Everyone is doing fine except the oldest. I'm sitting here with my stomach in knots over her. I just don't know how to help her. She's at this camp with several girls that she knows, that were on her team this year. Now these girls aren't who she wouldn't hang around outside of lacrosse but they are girls she's known for years. A couple of them can be catty. When I picked her up yesterday she said several times camp was fun. Later on she said that a couple of girls were making comments but nothing too bad. This morning she was fine until we got there. Most of the girls came together in one car just because most of the mothers work so they have someone else bring them. My daughter started to cry a little, it caught me off guard because I thought she was ok. I took her back to the van and she told me that all the girls had left her out yesterday, etc, etc. She had never said that one time to me last night or this morning.
Now I know girls are clickish, I know girls will leave other girls out. Been there, done that. But I also know that my daughter is super sensitive and takes things personally, things that aren't even meant to be taken that way. Sometimes she honestly thinks that people are scheming to do things to upset her. She is paranoid. I know at her age fitting in with a group is very important but sometimes you have to step out to fit in. You can't expect people to consider your feelings, if they are in a circle passing the ball, step in the circle and pass too. She thinks they should ask her and if they don't ask, then they don't like her when really it's probably that they just didn't think to ask. Sometimes I wonder if the other girls consider her standoffish or too high maintenance. I mean, it is hard being around someone that is too sensitive.
Of course then I wonder if it's something that I've done or haven't done as her mother for her to be so insecure. And I'm frustrated because I don't know how to help her and I'm tired too, it's mentally draining to have to talk her off the edge like I do. How do I make her see that not everyone is out to get her?
Another problem is I don't know how much of this is truth or her just being paranoid. I do know how mean girls can be, I remember it so I can't totally discount what she's saying. But then I also know how she can be too. I think she brings alot of this on herself by not including herself, by not stepping out and being friendly. If she's standing off, looking sour and hateful no one will approach her. I encourage her all the time to just be friendly, that people are drawn to that. If she does step out and try to speak to someone and she doesn't get the reaction she expects, she immediately thinks the person doesn't like her.
I worry about her future so much. I worry that she'll be alone if she keeps on. I don't know what to do or how to help her. I fear that she will find the acceptance she craves with boys just like I did. I'm seeing some of that now, I've had to take her cell phone away because of it.
We are all born with different personalities and such. Some people are loners, others love being around lots of people. Some are more serious, others happy go lucky. You are who you are. I don't want to change her, I just want to help her. How do I help her like herself, to have good self esteem? How do I help her if I've never had good self esteem? How do you help someone if you've never been able to help yourself?
Have I pushed my insecurities on her in some way? Is that why she's like this? It makes me ill to think that may be the case.
I hate not knowing what to do. I feel helpless because I fear that this is something I can't change.
posted by TC at 9:11 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home